Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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