trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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