You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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