i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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