Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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