i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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