He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
