also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
