my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
