If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
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