just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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