foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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