Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
