Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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