how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
