called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
