no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
