Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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