if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
