The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
