dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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