this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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