hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
