He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
