I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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