i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She even gives head with a lisp.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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