like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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