y did u give ur computer a hand job?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize