I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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