Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i wish my penis had a tongue
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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