He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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