The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
