If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
