i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
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