in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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