Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My breasts were aching with rage.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
how drunk are you?
Several
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
