He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
