Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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