i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
