Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
