I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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