i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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