Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Randomize
