yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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