Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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