We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I don't think brook has ever known best
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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