I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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