Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
