Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
