is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
