Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
