this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You brought string cheese to the strip club
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
