I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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