You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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