Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize