i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Randomize
