based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
