DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
