The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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