I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
