6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
