Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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