Nicole vs. Life
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
