I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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