Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize