My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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