please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I will be naked everywhere
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
