Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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