I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize